Speak English in Europe(English inside)
 

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
been_reached to adopt English as the preferred language for
European_communications, rather than German, which was the other
possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government
conceded that English_spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a five-year_phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish
(Euro for short).

In_the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly,
sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will
be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion,
but_typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik_enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like
"fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they
would_go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" by "z" and "w" by " v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o"
kan_be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kurs
be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al_be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plase... Jawohl !

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